Tag Archive: hates divorce


by DJ Martin (SingleFocus Ministry®)

Late one night I made the mistake of going to a popular Drug Store on the eve of Valentine’s Day. When I got there I decided that there must be a great sale going on because, the parking lot was unusually packed.  I had done my Valentine shopping earlier in the month; therefore, it didn’t dawn on me until I got into the store and saw the long lines; “Valentine’s Day!” The crowd was there to buy Valentine gifts and cards. These were the ‘True Love’ procrastinators.  I turned around and walked out, because it was obvious that I should wait and make my purchase on another day.

Can ‘True Love wait’? Think about it. How thespian it is to see God’s creation running even sprinting to ‘Love’; desperately clinging with emotional tongs to someone (anyone) while musing, “Could this be True Love?” They are not sure, but they will not let go. They will do whatever it requires to keep this ‘True Love’ in their grasp.  The problem is, however, that they don’t resemble the ‘Love’ that movies are made of. Like ‘nickel plated silver’, the ‘Love’ begins to expose its deficiency. The sparkle begins to fizzle. They begin to wonder, how this can be ‘True Love’ when there is no Disney magic; there is very little “happy ever…”  Is this the ‘True Love’ that movies are made of?  Who is directing; who wrote the script? Is it improvised? Has your ‘True Love’ story turned into a nightmarish comedy; absent of humor?

lftChristLuvIn order to make a beautiful compelling ‘True Love’ movie, you’ve got to have outstanding actors.  The problem is that ‘True Love’ is not a movie, but too many desperate idealists have subconsciously blurred the lines between realism and fiction. Therefore they cling to the illusion that they saw the actors perform in the movies. When they face reality they discover that life is not a movie and the ones sticking to the script are really actors who are ‘True Loves’ only until the credits begin to roll. Then they go on to the next movie set. You are simply one of the stars that they were in a movie with.

 Can ‘True Love’ wait? Are you tired of waiting? Perhaps that’s why you are clinging to anyone who is needed to complete your fantasy. Are you so anxious for ‘True Love’ that you have settled; anybody breathing will do? Are you like that ‘State Farm Commercial’ where the woman picked a boyfriend from the internet who claims to be a Parisian model, but obviously is neither French nor a model? If you’re at that stage, perhaps’ True Love’ can wait.

With divorce at epidemic levels; ‘shacking’ as an expected norm; teenage promiscuity spurring the surge of transmitted diseases; infanticide (abortion) as a billion dollar business; and domestic violence alarming frequency; it is evident that there needs to be a curriculum course, at all education levels, on ‘True Love’. However, mankind has so ‘devolved’ that they refuse to teach ‘True Love’ in the public schools. As a matter of fact government actively tries to discourage its very mention in any public arena and the psychologist, divorce lawyers and undertakers are reaping the benefits.  Oh, they will teach about sex education; how to use condoms; and how to tolerate perversion (governmentally sponsored). That’s because educators and government officials are intellectually deficient on the knowledge of what ‘True Love’ really is.

‘True Love’ is when you have disobeyed the One who created you, but that Creator has mercy on you and sacrifices another of His created being to cover you. Adam and Eve didn’t follow the script, but their Author loved them in their weakness.  They didn’t measure up to His standards, but He loved them anyway.

‘True Love’ is when you were given a promise, but though you could not wait and decided to make your own fulfillment of the promise, God loves you anyway. Though your “promise come true” was artificial or fake, God loves you and gives you the promise anyway.

‘True Love’ is when you’ve been an adulterer and/or an idolater, but God loves you so much that He sacrificed His only begotten Son to pay the bond for your crimes; for the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23).

‘True Love’ is when you’ve been willingly imprisoned by deadly habits like substance abuse and sexual immorality, but Christ loves you enough to come and break your chains and set you free.

‘True Love’ is when you’ve made bad choices and your sins are like crimson, Christ willingly comes down off His throne to take your sins upon Himself and is beaten, mocked, and crucified to cover you and your sins; past, present and future (“love covers a multitude of sins” (James 5:20).

‘True Love’ is though you reject Him and deny Him; Christ is willing to forgive you and sit down to eat with you. He still stands at the door of your heart and invites you to come unto Him and walk with Him (Revelation 3:20).

‘True Love’ is God relentlessly seeking your good and seeking to assure you of eternal life thru Jesus Christ (1 Timothy 1:16).

‘True Love’ is not a movie nor is it a fairy tale. ‘True Love’ is real and not based upon a man-made script.

‘True Love’ is written by the Holy Spirit on the hearts of all who are willing.

‘True Love’ can be experienced by all who are willing to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior.

You may not be married or you may have been married 50 plus years, but until you’ve met Jesus Christ; until you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, you will never know ‘True Love’.

‘True Love’ waits for you…

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us… (NIV)” 1 John 3:16

 “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

“God is love.1 John 4:8

That’s Today’s Single Focus…

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DJ Martin (SingleFocus Ministry®)

I would venture to answer, “Impossible!” It is impossible for any creation of God to have no purpose! Unfortunately it is possible to not be operating in that purpose. Admittedly, there are men who misconceive or limit their purpose and neither do they pursue that purpose. They tend to think that going to work everyday is the totality of their purpose to the point of becoming a workaholic. There are many reasons for this mindset. One may be that they don’t spend time with Christian men in church or informally at lunch or dinner. With all these books on knowing your purpose, you would think that it would be impossible that any human being would lack the knowledge of their purpose. Is your husband a Christian? Well, let’s assume he is. Because irregardless, many men define their purpose according to what the world dictates. They get a sermon during the commercial when they watch Sports on TV; they get a sermon during lunch talks at the job; and their boss gives them a sermon. By the time they get home to you, their wife, they express negatively what they think their purpose is. They think that their purpose is to go to work, come home and read the newspaper or watch TV. They might express that their purpose is to eat the dinner you have hot and ready when they get home from work; or to support their hobby with their overtime money! They might behave as if they think their purpose is to dictate to you what your purpose is relative to making them happy. They may express that your purpose is to be under their authority. You would assist him in his purpose, but once a car is parked, there really isn’t a need for assistance to a parked car (I wonder if this is one of those irreconcilable differences that they put on divorce papers)… But then there are the husbands that go to church and have lunch with men of God and they think the same way as afore-mentioned. They may never mention the word ‘purpose’. You love him, but his lack or misunderstanding of purpose is making your marriage like a ship on a stormy sea. Because you spend time in Bible study with women of God, you believe that you know your purpose. You have a dream, but your spouse does not or if he does, he hasn’t expressed it nor is he working on it.

Well, we have to work in order to eat, especially the man of the house with a family to take care of. After all God did put Adam to work, immediately. Of course after their sin, work would become a burden (Genesis 3:19). As we clearly see, work has become burdensome in more ways than one. It can become a resource or weapon in the cunning hands of the adversary (1 Peter 5:8). Your husband has a job, yet you say he has no purpose. We all must understand that purpose is given by the Ultimate Authority, which is the True and Living God. Is he interested in knowing his purpose, which is beyond going to work everyday? If he is, then he should be asking the Ultimate Authority. You have to seek wisdom from God. Whatever you do, you don’t want to get worldly advice on what his purpose is. Your girlfriends don’t live with him or you, so they don’t know. You don’t want to make the mistake that Eve did (Genesis 3:4); taking the advice of a snake. Because, then not only your husband, but you also will be living out of the purpose and will of God.

Let me ask you, “Do you really know your purpose?” Do you really understand purpose? Does your spouse understand purpose? Every human being is a product and is created to be a conduit of one purpose and that’s God’s good pleasure. It could be that you and your spouse have mistaken ‘purpose’ for ‘ambition’. Your question may really be, “suppose my husband has no dream?”, because, we all have the same purpose. Perhaps you have a passion for using your gift to accomplish that purpose and your husband shows no passion or signs of using any kind of gift to reach that God-given purpose. So let’s identify purpose and you will see that your husband does indeed have purpose, but we must pray and encourage him to use his gift to carry out that purpose. Look at Genesis 1:26. God said, “Let us make man in our image.” Then He gave them purpose in Genesis 1:28;“Be fruitful and multiply.” God charged mankind to multiply His physical image throughout the world. In Genesis 2:24 He designed the way this purpose would be accomplished; “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Growing the population was ordained to be done in the context of marriage. Multiplying the image of God or growing the population is the purpose God gave to man. The world leaders and politicians need to make note of that as they spread this demonic doctrine (1 Timothy 4:1) of abortion on demand and complaints about world population growth. They are very much on the wrong side of God’s purpose and will. Look at creation. God said, “Let there be” and vegetation, seas, stars, animals, etc suddenly appeared and was in existence at His word. However, with His hands, He personally shaped Adam and then this Great and Powerful God, bent down and breathed into his nostrils and man became a living soul (Genesis 2:7). God is not only physical (John 1:14), but He is also Spirit. Our purpose, your spouse and your purpose is to be fruitful and multiply the image of God, both physically*through marriage and spiritually through the word of your testimony. Multiplying His physical image is easy; it’s the spiritual image that is tricky. This is where ‘passionately using the gifts’ comes in. Conclusively, your spouse has purpose, he just doesn’t exhibit the ‘passionately use of gifts’ in order to accomplish that purpose. Are you passionately using your gift to carry out that purpose?

It may boil down to the fact that neither of you see the true purpose. Your purpose is not to open a Bookstore or cut a Gospel CD. This is just the method by which you are to accomplish your purpose. Agreeably your husband can’t achieve the purpose by watching TV or be worldly logical by trying to stop you from pursuing your God-given passion. If you both clearly understood purpose, then you both would pursue everyday life with passion. Actually going to the job everyday would become a mission. Going to the job everyday would become a spiritual passion. Not to just get paid, but to touch lives so that the spiritual image of God would be multiplied. The struggle is getting your spouse to comprehend that. This will necessitate much prayer.

Your life, his life, all our lives is about the Glory of God. How can you know your gift and use your gifts? How can you develop a passion to grow the kingdom? The first thing God did after establishing their purpose was to develop a relationship with Adam and Eve. Apparently God customarily walked with them in the cool of the day. This is where developing a passion, being gifted and given a dream starts; with a relationship with God. I’m not talking about a simple believe in your heart and confessing with your mouth, “Sunday go meeting” faith. I’m talking about being full of the spirit, consistently walking with, talking with God, and ‘feeling His embrace’ kind of relationship (John 3:7). The kind of personal relationship that discerns His righteousness, hates what He hates, and passionately seeks His glory and will! Just think about the conversations God and Adam had in their walks through the garden. Not only did God give Adam direction but He spent time with him. Adam spent time in His presence.

I guarantee that as soon as that personal relationship develops you will clearly understand purpose and God will reveal to you how to use your gift to achieve the purpose (Ephesians 4:1-12). He will give you a dream and a passionate pursuit of that dream by using your gift for the Glory of God (Matthew 4:19)! You will then discover that ‘Purpose’ is more than a pursuit. It is a walk; a lifestyle; the air we breathe.

No creation is without purpose. True purpose is the product of a personal relationship with the True and Living God.

I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, (Ephesians 4:1(KJV)

That’s Today’s SingleFocus…

A Book that might be helpful is: ‘The Kingdom Agenda’ by Dr. Tony Evans
'What A way To Live'

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Tired of being the Punch Line?

by DJ Martin (SingleFocus Ministry®)

They say that true life is a comedy…  But, when will we get tired of being the punch line in the devil’s joke?  I mean, he is going around causing all kinds of havoc in relationships and laughing all the way to heaven, telling the joke to God (Job 1:6) and guess what…we’re the punch line of each joke (Job 1:11).  For example: I was idealistic, determined to financially promote the kingdom of God. I got to working overtime, and my ideals became a joke in the devil’s comedy routine.  I forgot the reason and purpose and just worked for the money.  At the end of the year I found out that I supported the government more than myself.  And I can’t say that the kingdom received any financial benefit. The joke wasn’t on me… My selfishness, greed, self-gratification and my lack of trust in God was the story and I was the punch line.

In the beginning God officiated the marriage of Adam and Eve (Gen 2:24). Nowadays some men are telling the ladies, “Lets live together first.”  That’s the fad today.  The world has all kinds of excuses for ‘shacking’ instead of marriage.  You’re led to believe that it is temporary, but how long has it been now?  Have you set the date yet?  Only heaven knows who you could be married to by now… The joke is not on you… It’s your world view; your selfishness; your self-gratification; your lack of trust in God, His love and His will that is the punch line of the devil’s cruel joke.

God said, “be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:28).”  Some years ago some people determined to get rid of as many Black American babies as possible through wholesale abortion (genocide).  Teenagers are having premarital sex, abortionists are living in mansions and the teenagers’ adult lives have become shaky, because of possible side effects from abortion: emotional stress, barrenness, cervical cancer, breast cancer, and death… ‘Pro-choice’ marketing helps them to feel comfortable and you can’t watch anything on secular TV without viewing sexually suggestive commercials. Even the kids’ TV sitcoms subtly promote promiscuity. There are other minority groups out numbering Black Americans, because too many are choosing to behave immoral and consequently participate in abortion (there have been approximately 13 million Black American babies aborted since 1973 according to the U.S. Center for Disease Control). There are some church elders recommending abortion and there is government support (Planned Parenthood) paying for it. The joke is not on these young women… It is their naivety, self-centeredness; self-gratification; recklessness; maneuverability; vulnerability; poor self-esteem; disobedience and lack of trust in their parents’ sound advice; and their lack of trust in God, His love and His will that is the punch line in the devil’s cruel comedy routine.

God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Therefore, He has the Bible full of relational wisdom and self-growth counsel from Genesis to Revelation.  However, all kinds of turmoil are being stirred up in marriages: adultery, financial struggles… high stress situations!  Sometimes it is a matter of un-forgiveness; selfishness and pride; and lack of discipline or self-control. It probably could be remedied by giving God sovereignty in your life; studying individually and collectively the word of God and applying it in your relationship. Sometimes couples find themselves in a heated argument about dinner, discipline of children, a new purchase, a relative coming to visit, scrambling the eggs or boiling the eggs… I mean, have you ever stepped back and looked at what you’re arguing about? But then there is always someone who comes along who understands you better than your spouse. Stop! Don’t fall for that! When some person of the opposite sex comes at you when there is conflict in your marriage, that’s a clear sign that you are about to become the punch line in the devil’s comedy routine.  You’re not the joke, but your selfishness and pride (it’s my way or the highway attitude); your unwillingness to forgive (which God requires before He hears our prayers) and/or your self-centeredness (instead of focusing on the will of God) is the punch line in the devil’s cruel comedy routine.

I have too many family, friends and acquaintances whose lives and relationships are the punch lines of the devil’s cruel comedy routine.  Christ made the ultimate sacrifice and paid the price because, it is the will of God that no man parish (2 Peter 3:9).  He extends love, grace and mercy to each of us each and every day.  Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25).  That’s seeking the will of God, then sacrificing for her good, forgiving and showing grace and mercy. Wives are to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22).  Christ submitted to God the Father.  It is more than about you and your spouse’s personal preferences. Children are to obey their parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1).  We all are to love our neighbor as ourselves. That’s seeking their good and not their harm. It must start with the focus on the sovereignty and will of God.  After His extraordinary sacrifice and obedient submissiveness to God’s will by dying on a cross, Christ arose from the dead in power and victory.  All things are under His feet (1 Corinthians 15:27).  We may be the unsuspecting punch line, but God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7). We who are in Christ are victorious in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57).  Your life story is written with a happy ever after ending (Romans 8:37).  But, if you are not discerning, you will find yourself continuously being the punch line in the devil’s cruel comedy routine.

Notwithstanding, not all is a result of selfishness, but some is due to wickedness at the hands of evil people who live to prey on the innocent, undiscerning and vulnerable. Victims can be assured that “vengeance is mine” says the Lord (Romans 12:19). The Apostle Paul said that God would eventually make the disobedient believe a lie and He will turn them over to a reprobate mind (Romans 1:28).  You’ve seen adulterous Pastors teach the word, shout and go on like nothing is wrong, because they don’t know that the Spirit has left them.  You’ve witnessed the immoral or addicted sing or play the piano every Sunday Morning.  They spout the word of God eloquently and get all emotional as they sing or play the keyboard, but they have no idea that the Holy Spirit has left them (Judges 16:20), because they continue to live the worldly lifestyle and they haven’t been ‘zapped’ by God.  They have been given over to the devil as a punch line in his cruel comedy routine!

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being the punch line in the devil’s cruel comedy routine. This new year, let’s resolve to be alert and discerning.  Let’s obediently prioritize and honor our commitment to God and in all our ways acknowledge Him (Proverbs 3:6). In every temptation or turmoil, let’s pray for discernment to know whether it is a test from God or a temptation from the devil (James 1:1-15).  Whichever it is, let’s resolve to handle the situation the way God would have us to.  Let’s pray for His guidance and direction; study His word so that we can handle any relationship the way He teaches; and trust Him for the victory (John 16:33)! Let’s put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:11); thank Him for the victory by faith; and apply His word at all times. Sometimes you have to go the second mile (Matthew 5:41): forgive (seven times seventy) even when it seems unforgivable (Matthew 18:22); show grace and mercy as Christ has shown to us; love the way Christ loved us (John 14); and focus on the promised victory (Romans 8:37) even though it looks like imminent defeat.  We must resolve to have faith in God and establish that God’s way is better than the writer of Soap Operas; soft porn movies; TV sitcoms; politicians, champions of ungodly causes or doctrines of demons (1 Timothy 4:1).  And finally, let us resolve to no longer allow our selfishness, greed, self-gratification, disregard for the will of God, un-forgiveness, and our pride to become the punch line in the devil’s cruel comedy routine.  In Christ we are victorious and that’s no joke!

 For whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world: and this is the victory that overcomes the world, [even] our faith.”1 John 5:4

That’s Todays’ Single Focus…

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