DJ Martin (SingleFocus Ministry®)

A few weeks ago the Assistant to the Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys became interim Head Coach. I’ve heard Sports Commentators express that another Assistant should have been chosen, because they doubt the ability of the one chosen to motivate and discipline. They doubt his abilities as though, all this time, as Wade Phillips’ Assistant has not taught Jason Garrett the qualities necessary to be the Head Coach. Surely he has learned what to do and what not to do, by now! After all, the Head Coach and the Assistant Coach both had the same goal: to win ball games. Each game day will surely show the wisdom or lack there of regarding the choice made.

‘Assistant’…Man didn’t create that word. Oh no! It was first coined in the Garden of Eden. Well… God called it “help meet” or today we would say help or assistant. Man had no human assistance (help) until God created Eve. In Genesis 2:18 God expressed that it was not good that Adam was alone. Therefore He decided to make him a suitable “help meet” (KJV). Then God proceeded to create the woman Eve (Genesis 2:21-22). She was to be Adam’s help or as we would say today, she was created to assist Adam. I know that we all have heard preaching from the pulpit on this matter. Genesis Chapter 2 is preached a majority of times as part of a series on marriage and what the role of the woman and the man is in marriage. So, I’m going to start by acknowledging (as you have heard many times before) that after God created Adam, He gave him a job. In Genesis 2:16-15, He put Adam in the garden and was told to dress and keep it. With all the knowledge and brilliancy of Adam to do the task given him, God decided that he needed help. While Adam worked and named all the animals, God decided that Adam needed an Assistant.

Now, most of the time we women receive that message uncomfortably. Some women hear it as a reason to be submissive to the husband and men tend to use it as a reason for their wives to be subservient to the husband, but look at it a little closer. Genesis Chapter 2 merely establishes the order: 1. God: Ultimate Authority; 2. Man: Head of House; and 3. Woman: Assistant Head of House. Notice God did not say that Adam needed maid service, a dishwasher, babysitter or cook. He created a help meet (assistant). Okay, how is that different from subservience? Look at Genesis 2: 21-24:

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22) And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23) And Adam said, “This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24) Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (KJV)

Genesis 2:24 sums up the phrase “help meet (assistant) “they shall be one flesh.” Like Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett had the same goal given by Jerry Jones, the husband and wife were designed, by God, to have the same goal: the fulfillment of Gods purpose and will (1 Corinthians 11: 11-12). The ideal is that they walk lockstep with one another towards the accomplishing of God’s will. When Wade Phillips was the Head Coach, he mainly worked as a defensive specialist as well as the overall spokesman for his team of coaches. One of his Assistants (help), Jason Garrett was the offensive specialist. The other Assistants had their specialties; all different specialists with one goal… to win football games. They are supposedly lockstep with that goal in mind. In the garden, Adam was given the charge and instructions. Eve was brought from his side along side to be lockstep with Adam; to recognize God as Lord; and accomplish what God had instructed Adam to do. Adam was the head and while he operated in his gift or specialty, Eve operated in her specialty or gift to accomplish the same goal.

This is the ultimate goal of marriage. Establishing order and purpose was done by God. Staying in that order is on us. Wade Phillips answered to Jerry Jones, the owner and general manager. The owner established this order. Therefore when the team stopped accomplishing their goal, which was the purpose and will of the owner, the Head Coach was fired. The Assistant, who had a different gift or specialty, could be promoted because he was a part of the team with the same goal as the Head. Moving from Assistant Coach to Head Coach changed his workload, but did not change his goal which has always been to fulfill the purpose and will of the owner to win football games. Uniquely, Jason Garret made the same wages that Wade Phillips made though he was the Assistant, because their goal was the same and only their order was different. As owner, Jerry decided what the goal was. As Head Coach, Wade worked on accomplishing that goal. As Assistant Head Coach, Jason helped Wade to work on accomplishing that goal, but concentrated on the offense. The man, as husband has been given a purpose and goal for his life by God. If he is pursuing the fulfillment of God’s plan and will for his life, God will bring the man help (his wife) and they will both pursue the goal. They may not always have the same gift, but they should have the same goal (1 Corinthians 12). Adam seemed to specialize in the technical aspects of achieving the goal, while Eve seemed to specialize in emotional (“touchy/feely”) and visual aspects of achieving the goal. Though different specialties and different order, God made and expected them to be ‘one’ in their goal, which is to obey and carry out His will and purpose.

In 1 Corinthians 11: 3, Paul put it this way: “I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God.”
Cunningly the adversary(Genesis 3) has spouses trying to define each other’s roles instead of first seeking to know their own role & purpose as a team; God being the ultimate authority; the husband being the head; and the wife his assistant. Ideally the man should be working on fulfilling the will of God when Christ brings a wife into his life. So instead of trying to define their roles according to the world, as a couple, the two should be (with the help of the Holy Spirit) establishing how together they can use their individual gift or specialty to accomplish God’s will and purpose. However, spouses are making their ‘order’ and ‘roles’ a subject of arguments and resulting divorce battles. God did not design marriage to be “the battle of the sexes.” He designed marriage to be a team of two as one accomplishing His will and purpose, which He established before the foundation of the earth (Ephesians 1: 4-8). God created the woman especially to help for the man to carry out what God had called him to do.

Think about it…the Head is held in great accountability by an ultimate authority. Notice that Wade Phillips, the Head Coach, was fired, not the Assistant Coach…

Hmm… maybe ‘Assistant’ isn’t too bad of a position to be in!

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. (Romans 8:28 (KJV)

That’s Today’s SingleFocus…

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